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Nightmare About Being Two

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     Introduction     For the last 30 some wad years I have had really bad nightmares about something that happened when I was about two years old. I often tell people about the nightmares and some, come up with excuses to justify it like "It's only in your imagination" or "You can't remember anything until you're five years old. How can you have a nightmare about something that "could have happened when you were two?" I think you may need to get your head checked!" Let me tell you something! When someone has a traumatic brain injury caused by PTSD A.K.A Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, people or children from which who had gotten abused, tend to remember everything about the abuser, what they've done, and how they've done the abuse.      To tell you the truth PTSD is not only a brain injury, it causes your body. mind and soul to react to other trauma's and anxiety's, that were not too bad, in a really bad manor. I don't care...

Before the Adoption (PART 3: GETTING READY FOR THE ADOPTION)

      I moved in with the at this time pending adoptive parents when I was 18 months old. I never asked the question what date did I come stay with you? All I know is that I was 18 months old when I moved into the household. That was something I was told, early on in my life. I will tell that on a later date perhaps. I don't know how they were picked, or who picked this family for me, perhaps it was my father who picked the Adoptive parents out. I don't honestly know. I can speculate it but, I can't really put my finger on it because, I was never told that part of the story. All I do know however, is I got this Adoptive family.     I know it takes some time to adopt a child and I know that sometimes the circumstances in adopting children may vary but, I do know that my adoptive mother, wasn't really good with me in a sense. I'll talk about that later on and I'll talk about some of the nightmares I've had as well.      I was Adopted to a family of ...

Before the Adoption (PART 2: MY FOSTER FAMILY)

  NOTICE:   All names have been changed to protect the identity and privacy of those involved with this part of my story.     Just after I was apprehended from my bio parents I went to stay with a very nice foster family. The parents loved children very much and they were so glad to have me as a foster daughter. The foster mother, enjoyed having me around and she really loved me very much. My foster father, he loved being around me and he was very down to earth and he was very grateful to have had the pleasure of fostering me. From what I can remember the family took very good care of me, and they had given me the best life for about nine or ten months of my life, and I was like a huge part of their family. They had been a huge part of my family as well, even after the adoption, and after we lost contact; some years later, after the adoption.     In a moment I will be writing a very important message here for them. I do from time to time think of them, and ...

Before the Adoption (PART 1: APPREHENSION)

 Finding out that I was adopted was a relief to me. Yeah it screwed me up royally but, I've certainly learned a lot about myself, and where I've come from. I want to bring your attention to before I found out I was adopted and before the adoption took place. I want to talk about from the time I was born to the time I was eighteen months old, the adoption if this makes any sense to you. My name hasn't always been Deejaegh. I was born under the name Stephanie Leah Gregor; my biological name. The name I was given from birth.     I was born in July to my bio mom and bio dad. They both have different stories of how and who was at my birth. But, obviously I believe my fathers story over my mothers story any-day. My father has a picture for proof, and I believe the proof over false accusations any-day. I was told by my mother that my father was not at my birth, I was told the same thing by my mother's sister. However, there is a dated picture of my father and I, in which clear...

The Beginning of An Unknown Journey

 Someone once told me life is an unknown journey, a journey that no one knows. This journey is mine, and I am proud to be on these winding streets that are mine. With every avenue I've taken, I have become my own. I have done some great things in my life. I haven't accomplished much but, from this point on I am going to accomplish more within my life.This I promise you. I've been through thick, and I have been through thin. I know I will get through my next chapter in my life. During the next two years, you will see so much happen with me, the changes, pain and love for myself grow. You will begin to see my journey take shape, and you will see me go from nothing to success.  I want to inspire and show all of you, that you can change no matter where you are in your life. Change can come to you whether you are in your old or young age. Take it from me, I am willing to make these changes. All you need is the will to want to change, and the drive to thrive to help you change. I...